I shouldn’t be posting this. It’s late and I’ve had too much Barolo. But I’m worried:
Was it an implied threat? Or am I being too suspicious?
A boyfriend, out of the distant past, sends this email:
Still find myself thinking about you…and missing you.
And attached to the email is a picture of me from our time together. It’s not porn exactly, but it’s a very intimate, so-called “boudoir” photograph that he had professionally taken as part of a Valentine’s Day surprise back when we were “an item.”
It was fun at the time…my making believe I’m a Playboy centerfold or some such… and his sparing no expense on professional makeup artists and stylists blowing out my hair and making me appear so unnaturally yet perfectly seductive I look like a different person, a stranger to myself, in soft focus.
But now I’m suddenly worried what he’ll do with the images. Off and on, over the time since we’ve been apart, he’s let it be known that he’s angry we’re no longer together; and though his most recent message is seemingly sweet enough, I know him well enough to know that beneath his charm lurks a dark side.
The best offense is a good defense, I’ve always heard. So, damn him, I’ll post the picture myself!
J S Morbius (@JSMorbius) said:
And a very beautiful picture of you it is
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tripleclicka said:
Still a genius…
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Joy Saint James said:
thank you!
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Robert Metzger said:
Its a wonderful sexy Picture . you should be proud of it you look Beautiful . . I am sure he misses you .
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Adrian said:
well there’s one thing definite about you Joy – you are OUT in a very public way, and proud, whether you publish the photos or not. so what power does he have? now you make me wish we’d known each other forever. as for the discrepancy between public and self-image. it’s a fascinating topic and one most of us are forced to face eventually. x
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Adrian said:
strange how alerting us to this, more importantly your response to it, really tip-toes the tightrope. a teasing stimulus to dissenters and supporters alike. honest – transparently so, which is power. daring. but all in ignorance of him and of each individual reader’s perspectives.
what i gleaned from time spent in Manchester’s Gay village, observing the most overtly broadcast relationship troubles, there, is… when people air their dirty laundry very publicly, to generate support, self-justify, predominantly, no one gives a shit. i say this as reassurance Joy. with a wink x
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celsiusrising said:
That’s far from porn, You could show this to Mom. (Maybe not Dad..) Nice photo!
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Wilson said:
Own it, address it, be proud of it, he’s the creep who is mad show it off and let the world know how much of a dipshit he is for being an ex.
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Wilson said:
Sigh. Kudos on the nice troll.
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N. Likes said:
Damn, that’s hot. And what a prick. (I’m glad he provoked you into sharing it, though. I want more….)
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JunkChuck said:
Owning what others might think they can use against us is almost always the best mood. When Bill Clinton had the whole Monica Lewinsky thing blow up into impeachment it was his lying about it that got him in trouble. If he’d turned on the charm and said, “Hell yeah, I’m President of the USA and balls the size of Iowa, you think I’m going to say no to a pretty young girl like that?”
Any way you cut it, you win. And hey, you’re looking great doing it–so now your ex has to deal with that, too. (The best revenge is living well, right?)
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