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Allow your eyes to close… visualize your breath…allow your mind to cleanse as you move into another Vinyasa.

Love my Lululemon!

Love my Lululemon!

“No Men in Women’s Bathrooms!” screamed the election banners, yard signs, TV ads and t-shirts in a well-funded fearmongering campaign against the Houston Equal Rights Ordinance (HERO).  The fear mongers won, as the ordinance was overwhelmingly rejected last Tuesday.  The fear was misplaced, of course, for the last thing on the minds of self-identified transwomen needing to use women’s public restrooms is anything prurient.

Banning men from yoga classes would make a lot more sense! 

The thought twirls in my mind while not paying attention to my yoga teacher’s gentle admonition to focus only on my breathing.  I’m too distracted by the thoughts I imagine energizing behind me…

Doing Downward Dog, I catch a glimpse of the would-be yogini behind me.  He’s a man, the only man in the class; and his head is not down but bent upward, so that he’s looking directly at my butt….

Breathe so deeply you feel your lungs against your spine….

Is he simply trying to see what others are doing so that he, a novice, can learn by mimicking?

Now let your breath take you gently into Child Pose….

But then – second-guessing myself — why did he, like an inattentive, testosterone-addled high school student, set up his yoga mat at the very back of the room? 

Relax….  Let yourself breathe in and feel the here and now….

Downward Doggie Style

Downward Doggie Style

And why, oh why, did he place his mat right behind mine?  Cynthia and Jenny are lined up next to me.  Why isn’t he directly behind one of them, instead?  I always thought they had cuter butts than mine…but maybe not?  Mmmmm….

Imagine that your thoughts are like the autumn leaves….  Now let them fall and float away….

He’s actually not too bad looking himself.  I wonder if he’ll say anything to me at the end of class.  “Hey, I just wanted to say what you probably know already… you’ve got a great ass!”  Or, more gentlemanly: “Hi, my name’s John. May I buy you a cup of coffee?  You can educate me into the ways of yoga.”